Crushed and Created
by dora06
Summary: We are crushed and created, we all have our ups and downs. What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake. Everyone must over come all odds if they are to really live. ALL HUMAN/CANNON PAIRINGS
1. Prologue

**TITLE:** Crushed and Created

**RATING:** M

**SUMMARY:**We are crushed and created, we all have our ups and downs. What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake. Everyone must over come all odds if they to really live. ALL HUMAN/CANNON PAIRINGS

**DISCLAIMER:** Just want to make clear that I don't own these wonderful characters no matter how much I wish I did.. They all come from the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. The song Crushed and Created is by Caitlyn Smith

**DEDICATION: **To my best friend Nikki, who always believes in me and who is always there for me... Love you heaps my cupcake-a-nator

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**PROLOGUE**

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_**Crushed and Created**  
**By Caitlyn Smith/Sara Groves/Gordon Kennedy**_

__

Looking back on the things that found me  
Places I would never choose  
The same things that both haunt and heal  
My demons and my muse

We are crushed and created  
We are melted and made  
We are broken and built up in the very same way  
What I thought I could handle  
What I thought I could take  
What I thought would destroy me  
Leaves me stronger in its wake

And there are times that I've underestimated  
Both the grief and goodness found in something new  
Where one thing dies, something else can be created  
And though it's truth you find, it's innocence you lose  
_  
We are crushed and created  
We are melted and made  
We are broken and built up in the very same way  
What I thought I could handle  
What I thought I could take  
What I thought would destroy me  
Leaves me stronger in its wake_

_I'm not the me that I started with  
My friends say my eyes are brighter  
I'm not the me that I started with  
I'm freer, and I'm wiser, and I'm stronger…  
__  
We are crushed and created  
We are melted and made  
We are broken and built up in the very same way  
What I thought I could handle  
What I thought I could take  
What I thought would destroy me  
Leaves me stronger in its wake..._  
It leaves me stronger

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**BPOV**

Edward grabbed my hand and I looked up to see tears in his beautiful green eyes. Edward rarely cried and he shouldn't now. Angels shouldn't cry.

"Are you should you want to do this love," He asked his soft, velvet voice cracking.

I looked him straight in the eyes and swallowed as I tried to make the words come out but I simply couldn't find them so I just nodded my head instead as I squeezed his hand tighter.

He closed his eyes and ran his free hand through his bronze hair. He shouldn't have been surprised by my answer, he knew how much I wanted this.

I turned to the other person in the room, who hadn't said a word since they had given us the news, and said the four words that would change my life forever

"I am doing this..."


	2. Chapter 1

**TITLE:** Crushed and Created

**RATING:** M

**SUMMARY:**We are crushed and created, we all have our ups and downs. What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake. Everyone must over come all odds if they to really live. ALL HUMAN/CANNON PAIRINGS

**DISCLAIMER:** Just want to make clear that I don't own these wonderful characters no matter how much I wish I did.. They all come from the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. The song Crushed and Created is by Caitlyn Smith

**DEDICATION: **To my best friend Nikki, who always believes in me and who is always there for me... Love you heaps my cupcake-a-nator

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**CHAPTER 1.**

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**BPOV**

_"...And they both lived happily ever after." My mother read from my story book before she closed it and looked up at me. "Time for you to go to sleep now Sweetheart"_

_"Mummy?" I asked her as she stood up from my bed and began to tuck me in_

___"Yes Bella?"_

___"When is Emmett coming home? I miss him."_

___"He'll be back in a couple of weeks for a visit."_

___"Do you think he misses me?"_

_She laughed before she answered. "Of course he does silly. He loves you and I bet he has a really good surprise for you for your birthday"_

_I scrunched up my face at that. I hated surprises and Emmy knew it. Just then my father came into my room. __My daddy came to stand beside my mother. "Shouldn't you be asleep Sweetie. It's past your bed time."_

_"But I'm not tir..." I tried to stifle my yawn but my parents noticed and they both laughed. My father bent down and kissed my forehead. "Go to sleep Bella. Love you Sweetheart."_

_I nodded my head and closed my eyes. Suddenly I heard the sound of tires screeching as they tried to break and I opened my eyes to see to bright lights coming towards me. I screamed..._

I shot straight up in bed as a tried to catch my breath. I could feel tears running down my face, but I didn't even try to wipe them away. This was nothing new. I had had this dream before. Many times and every time I would wake up crying and gasping for breath. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down before I laid back down in bed and rolled over so I could stare out of my bedroom window. I from my position I could see the stars up in the sky but no moon. I knew that there wasn't a moon out tonight. I had seen it marked on the calendar this morning. There was a new moon tonight, just like there had been on that night almost fifteen years ago.

I can still remember the music that was playing in the background at Un po 'di Italia, my favourite restaurant. We only went out for tea there if it was a special occasion and that night we had been celebrating. That restaurant had been my favourite place to dine. These days I couldn't even drive past it without bursting into tears.

We were on our way home when it happened. When my small six year old world changed forever. My father's police crusier was full of chatter and laughter on our way home that night. I can remember my mother pointing out the window up at the sky.

"See Bella. There is no moon out tonight. Just stars."

I stared with awe up at the sky. "There are so many of them." I kept looking up at them until I found the brightest one in the sky. "That one! Look at that one mummy."

"Wow, that is a big one. Why don't you make a wish sweetheart?"

I did as she said and continued to look up at the star as I sang, "Star light, Star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might; have this wish I wish tonight." I shut my eyes tight and wished.

"What did you wish for Sweetheart?" My father asked from the driver's seat without glancing back at me.

"I can't tell you Daddy. If I do it won't come true."

"Oh, how silly of me. Of course it won't come true if you told me." he chuckled. My mother just laughed at him.

Everyday since then I have wished I could go back in time and tell him what I had wished for. Maybe if I had it wouldn't have come true. I'd wished for my brother. I wanted to see my brother because I hadn't seen him since he had moved away for college a few months early.

Our car stopped at the only set of traffic lights in the small town of Forks and while we waited for the light to turn green, my mother turned around in her seat to look at me and she started to pull funny faces at me. I was laughing and clapping at her from the back seat when the light turned green and my father turned the corner. He didn't even have time to swerve away from the drunk drive that hit us. I could see the bright head lights coming towards us over my mother's shoulder. My scream was drowned out by the sound of the two cars crashing into each other. I only saw black after that.

I awoke two weeks later in a white walled hospital room. I could feel someone's hand in mine so I turned my head to look at who the hand was attached to. Emmett was asleep with his head on my bed. I gently squeezed his hand and watched as he blinked a few times before he slowly lifted his head. I was excited to see my brother, that is before I saw tears run down is cheeks. Emmett never cried and it was starting to scare me.

"Emmy? Where is Mum and Dad?"

He dropped his gaze from my face and slowly stood up. He then gently sat on my bed and pulled my into a hug, trying very hard not to hurt me. He took a few deep breaths before he answered me.

"There gone Bella."

I just looked at him shaking my head. No, no no...

"Gone where?"

"Bells, they didn't make it. They are with Grandma Swan, in heaven."

I broke down then and just cried and screamed. Emmett cried with me. The tears didn't stop until I fell asleep.

Life was hard after that. It took along time for me to recover after the accident. I had been impaled on a piece of metal from the car and my knee had been completely shattered from the impact. I slowly learnt to walk again but it was difficult. Once I was well enough to travel, I moved with Emmett to Seattle where he was living. He had been staying there with his girlfriend's adoptive family. I meet Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie Hale during my stay in hospital. She was nice and I liked her but I didn't really talk to her. I didn't really speak to anyone at all, not even Emmett.

Esme and Carlisle Cullen took me in. They didn't mind and they treated me like apart of the family. They legally adopted me later that year. They had two biological children. Alice and Edward. Alice was a few years older than me and Edward was my age. Those two became my best friends. Japser was Rosalie's younger brother. They both had been adopted by the Cullen's when they were younger. Their parents had been abusive and they had been in and out of the foster care system before Esme and Carlisle took them in. Emmett and Rosalie had met at college and had been dating for awhile before he to moved into the Cullen Mansion. He fitted straight in and became part of the family.

I shook my head to try and clear it, so that I could try and escape my memory. I knew I needed to get to sleep because I had classes in a couple of hours. So I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I didn't even try to stop the tears that were still falling over the guilt I felt for my parents death, since it had been my birthday we had been celebrating that dreadful night. I just hoped that one day it would get better.

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**Okay so there is chapter 1. What do you think? I don't have a beta so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors.**

**So there are no confusions and so that I can remind my self here are everyones ages;**

**Bella- 20**

**Edward- 20**

**Alice- 25**

**Jasper- 28**

**Emmett- 32**

**Rosalie- 32**

******Don't forget to review. Please. I am desperate to hear your feedback.**

******Well I am off to bed. Sweet dreams :)**

******Jami oxox**


	3. Chapter 2

**TITLE:** Crushed and Created

**RATING:** M

**SUMMARY:**We are crushed and created, we all have our ups and downs. What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake. Everyone must over come all odds if they to really live. ALL HUMAN/CANNON PAIRINGS

**DISCLAIMER:** Just want to make clear that I don't own these wonderful characters no matter how much I wish I did.. They all come from the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. The song Crushed and Created is by Caitlyn Smith

**DEDICATION: **To my best friend Nikki, who always believes in me and who is always there for me... Love you heaps my cupcake-a-nator

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**CHAPTER 2.**

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**BPOV**

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

Without opening my eyes, I searched for my alarm clock with my hand. It took me a minute but finally I located the source of the annoying sound and turned it off. It was a couple of minutes before I finally pulled myself out of bed so that I could get dressed. I quickly pulled a pair of dark blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a light grey hoodie and a pair of white converses. I grabbed my bag off the chair in my room and closed the door to before I headed down the stairs.

I was pulling my hair into a pony-tail as I turned into the kitchen when I ran into my brother. I fell straight on my butt.

Emmett was laughing at me while he picked me up from the floor. "Careful there Bells."

I didn't answer him but just kept walking into the kitchen. Emmett followed close behind me.

"Hey Bella, what's wrong?"

I turned away from him and grabbed the bread and put two slices into the toaster while he went to sit at the breakfast counter. I still didn't face him when I answered him.

"Nothing is wrong Em."

"Then why won't you look at me."

I spun around and looked him straight in the eye. "See Em, nothing is wrong."

He got off his chair, approached me and pulled me into a comforting hug.

"If nothing is wrong then why have you been crying, and don't say you haven't because I can tell. Your eyes are still red and puffy."

Crap. Note to self- wash face before I come down for breakfast. The last thing I wanted was for Emmett to be worried about me. He should be happy right now. He and Rosalie had tied the knot last year and were only a month away from expecting their first child.

I shrugged myself out of his embrace and turned to collect my toast which had popped. I didn't want to talk to Emmett about this. The only person I wanted right now was currently working a thirty six hour shift at the hospital, but I wouldn't see him until after I got home tonight.

"Don't worry about it Emmett."

He looked like he was about to argue with me so I glanced up at the clock and then reached for my car keys which were on the wall hook.

"Listen Em, I have to go but I'll see you later okay. Say hello to Rosalie for me." And with that I was out the door.

Once I reached the garage I climbed into Edward's car and took a deep breath to calm myself. The car smelled like him and it was oddly comforting. He had insisted that I drive his silver volvo when he had started working at the hospital because he could get a lift there with Carlisle.

I turned the keys in the ignition and began driving towards the meadow. My literature class didn't start for another hour and I really needed to think. Edward and I had found this place a couple of years ago and it held a lot of memories for me. This place with its purple and blue wildflowers was the place where Edward first told me he loved me. We were seventeen when it finally happened.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_Edward took my hands in his and pulled me gently towards him._

_"Bella, I have wanted to tell you this for so long now I just didn't know how. I love You. I have loved you since the first moment I saw you and I will always love you."_

_I felt my heart leap. He loved me... He loved ME!_

_"Edward I love you too so much..."_

_(END FLASHBACK)_

A couple of months later, this meadow became the first of many places where Edward and I made love.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_Edward and were kissing passionately before he gently lowered me to the ground._

_"Please Edward. Please make me yours." I looked him straight in the eye as I felt his body pressed up against. He was hesitating but I knew that he wanted this. God, I could feel that he wanted this._

_"Bella, are you sure?"_

_"Edward I have never wanted anything so much in my entire life. I love you, and I need yo..." Edward quickly silenced me by kissing me._

_Our kisses started come quicker and more heated. One of Edward's hand began to work its way up underneath my top. He lovingly began to caress my breasts. I moaned and began to unbutton his shirt. It wasn't long before we were both naked, and I was more than ready to give myself to him._

_His eyes travelled over my body and I suddenly found myself very self conscious. Almost if he sensed my unease, Edward lowered his head and began to run kisses along my neck and jawline while he whispered, "Beautiful. Absolutely Beautiful."_

_He slowly entered my and paused at my barrier. "I don't want to hurt you Love."_

_"I know. I trust you Edward."_

_Edward slowly proceeded and I felt the pain but I didn't make a noise. I knew that it would upset him if I did, but my body betrayed me and a single tear slid down my cheek. Edward kissed it away and I could see the guilt building up in him._

_It wasn't long before the pain was gone and it was replaced with pleasure. I rocked slowly letting him know he could continue. I loved the feeling of being one with him. I could feel is love for me with every move he made. We both reached the point where our bodies felt like they were on fire and the coils that had been building inside of us was ready to explode._

_"Let go Love," And I did. He followed me and we stayed cuddle in each other's arms for hours after that._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

The most recent memory was our engagement. It hadn't been fancy but it had been full of love. Edward made me feel loved.

And that was why I couldn't wait for the afternoon to come so that I could see Edward again. I only ever had nightmares when he wasn't at home with me, holding me tightly, protecting me while I slept. He would know how to comfort me over last night's dreams and I really needed comforting. My mind was still reeling from my dream and as I sat in the meadow I let the tears come before I picked myself up and headed to class.

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**Okay so... what did you think?**

**Please give me feedback... There are quite a few people reading this fanfic but I have not heard any response so please REVIEW! :)**

**I hope to have another chapter up real soon but until then...**

**Smile and be happy :D**

**Jami**


	4. Chapter 3

**TITLE:** Crushed and Created

**RATING:** M

**SUMMARY:**We are crushed and created, we all have our ups and downs. What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake. Everyone must over come all odds if they are to really live. ALL HUMAN/CANNON PAIRINGS

**DISCLAIMER:** Just want to make clear that I don't own these wonderful characters no matter how much I wish I did.. They all come from the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. The song Crushed and Created is by Caitlyn Smith

**DEDICATION: **To my best friend Nikki, who always believes in me and who is always there for me... Love you heaps my cupcake-a-nator

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**CHAPTER 3.**

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Turns out I didn't have to wait long to hear Edward's voice. Emmett had apparently called him after I had left the house. When I walked out of Literature class for lunch, I checked my phone to find that I had four miss calls from Edward. I checked my messages.

"Message received at 9.45am- Hey Bella. Emmett just called he said you were upset this morning. Call me back and just let me know that your okay. Love you."

"Message received at 10.27am- Bella. I'm still waiting. Call me."

"Message received at 11.16 am- Love, come on please answer your phone. I'm getting worried."

"Message received at 11.39 am- Isabella Swan, I swear if don't here from you soon I'm going to come down there."

God, he was not patient when it came to me. I glanced down at my watch. 11.45am. I knew that Edward would make good of his threat about coming down here so I dialed his number. Edward answered on the first ring.

"Bella?"

I felt my mouth pull into a smile as soon as I heard his voice. "Hello to you too Edward."

"Sorry. Hello Love."

"Much Better."

"Are you okay because Emmett said..." I cut him off before he continue.

"Edward, I'm fine. I promise. I just was a bit upset because I had another dream but I am okay. Emmett shouldn't have called you" I said bitterly.

"He was just worried about you Love and I am sorry I wasn't there last night."

"You were at work. I understand and it's okay. What time will you be home?"

"Hopefully I will be home in a couple of hours. How about you?"

"Same. I can't wait to see you. I've missed you too."

"I've missed you too Bella." I was going to ask him what he felt like for tea when I started to hear loud voices in the background. It sounded like a truma had just arrived.

Edward conformed my thoughts.

"Sorry Love I've got to go. An ambulance just arrived."

"Okay. I'll see you soon"

"See you soon and thank you for calling me back. Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Love you."

"I love you too"

I hung up my phone and went to go stand in line in the cafeteria. It was from then that I started counting down the minutes until I saw Edward again.

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**How was that?**

**It was a bit short and sweet but I hate having to write in... (A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER) :P**

**So I'll just start a new chapter I think.**

**Oh and excuse any mistakes... its 1.30am and I think my brain has turned to mush!**

**Please click that little button below and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**Have a great day :D**

**Jami**


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